Bearing It All Read online

Once she was finished, Emma used her foot and pressed the lever to flush before making her way to the sink to wash her hands. Zoe was leaning up against the wall, drying her hands, while watching her intently.

  “Don't let anyone push or rush you into something you're not ready to do, Emma,” Zoe advised.

  “Okay,” she mumbled, unsure where this conversation was going.

  “Raferty men are a different breed of shifter. You’ll figure it out once we get to Window Rock and you see Bodhi’s family. Especially, his uncles.” Zoe gave a low, sexy whistle. “Every one of them hotter than the last. Particularly Kalkin and Caden. Although, I want you to pay attention to their mates. It’ll be an eye-opening experience for you, I think.”

  “You lost me, Zoe.”

  “It’s okay.” Zoe gently patted shoulder. “You’re a smart cookie. I bet you’ll have it figured out before you fall asleep tonight.”

  What the hell is Zoe talking about? She had no freaking clue. Not knowing how to reply, she simply nodded.

  Zoe grinned, pulled open the door for her. Together, they made their way back to their seats. Hayden and Nico were huddled together speaking in whispers and soft giggles. Henry and Tate were both talking to Cassidy who appeared enthralled by their attention. Raquel, Shelly, and Joy were also chatting, while Bodhi spoke with Christoph, who sat across from him and next to Bell. Jackson had his arm draped around Bell while he spoke to Victor. Zoe took her seat beside the burly biker, Rocky and cuddled into his side, leaving her with no one to talk to, that was okay with her.

  It’d been this way most of her life post-parental death. Most people seemed to ignore her, and she allowed it. It gave her more time to reflect on everything. Emma grabbed her journal and pen before placing her pack on the floor. She opened her book to a fresh page and let everything disappear around her. Earlier in the car, she’d doodled absentmindedly, something she did often. When Bodhi inquired what she was doing, she panicked, not wanting him to see her silly, childish musings. Almost everything in her journal border lined on obsession when it came to her mate ... umm, Bodhi. She'd die if anyone read it. It housed her most private thoughts and feelings. The journal didn't judge her, didn't call her names or make her feel less than anything, it just accepted every single word she gave it, without question.

  Ignoring the waitress who had returned with the drink order, Emma started putting her thoughts down for the first half of their trip.

  She jumped when the waitress slammed down a frosted, metal cup beside a large glass cup, filled with chocolate. Inhaling deeply, Emma detected the hints of peanut butter mixed in, and her mouth watered.

  “Excuse me,” she called to the departing waitress. “I didn’t order this.”

  “Sure didn’t, honey,” The older lady said. “He did for you.” She gestured to Bodhi.

  “Hope you don't mind,” Bodhi said. “I asked Cassidy, who was most helpful, said you couldn't resist the wonder of chocolate and peanut butter mixture. So, I ordered you one.”

  “That’s very sweet of you.” Her gaze moved from the shake to his.

  “Well, I’m a sweet kind of guy,” he joked, winking at her. “I just hope you’re not going to let it go to waste.”

  “I don’t like to be wasteful,” she admitted. As Emma reached for the cold glass she tried to mentally calculate how many calories were in it and how much running she’d have to do to take the weight off her fat ass. “What kind did you get?”

  “Same as yours.” Bodhi flashed her a sexy smile. “Seems we have the same taste.”

  Emma captured the straw between her lips, hollowed out her cheeks and sucked till she almost passed out. Nothing. She tried again to no avail. It’s a sign, you don’t need the confection. Your thighs will thank you later.

  “Might want to use the spoon,” Bodhi said, his voice deep and growly as he reached across her, and snagged the long, metal spoon resting in her metal cup. “Stuff is thick as hell.”

  Fuckbuckets!

  She was going to have to touch him again. Even with the spoon being long, only the top part was clean, the rest was covered in chocolate and peanut butter. He knew it, too, if she went by the wicked smile on his lips.

  Two could play this game. Reaching out, she ignored the sparks of attraction snapping through her body as she took the spoon and promptly licked off the leaking mess. The ice-cold mix of the bitter chocolate and sweet peanut butter burst across her taste buds. It was to die for, orgasmic even. Not that Emma would know what an orgasm was like since she could never get herself off. Oh she tried, but it all ended in her wondering if there was something physically wrong with her to not achieve climax. In the end, she broke the vibrator and threw it away.

  Bodhi cursed under his breath. Emma's eyes widened when his hand slipped below the table, adjusting himself.

  Shit. Did that just happen? Of course it did, you saw it with your own eyes. Crap.

  “Keep licking the damn spoon, pinky, and we might have issues,” Bodhi growled.

  The cold metal slipped through her fingers, clinking on the table. Emma could feel all eyes were on her, but she didn’t care. Her focus was on the shifter beside her.

  I feel the magic between you and me ...

  And, she did. It was palpable.

  “Emma! I can’t get internet on my phone,” Cassidy cried out, ruining the moment between Bodhi and her.

  “So?” she snapped. “You won’t die, Cassidy.”

  “I’m bored, and I can’t message any of my friends.”

  “Life as we now know it won’t end because you can’t chat with friends.” Cassidy huffed, rolling her eyes at Emma. “Our food will be here any minute, and you know you’re not allowed on your phone at the table.”

  It surprised her, somewhat, when Cassidy stood up, stomped her foot, and pouted like a four-year-old. “I wanna go home!” she demanded.

  Emma suspected Cassidy had been biding her time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike and maybe embarrass her. Cassidy should know better. Letting out a deep sigh, Emma ignored everyone at the table, focusing instead on her sister. “We discussed this, remember. You agreed to come along.”

  “I want to be home, with my friends. I still don’t get why you couldn’t just leave me home.”

  “Maybe because you’re sixteen years old, Cassidy, and require adult supervision,” Emma replied, trying to keep her voice calm even though she felt anything but.

  “Why do we always have to do what you want to do?” Cassidy cried. “It’s unfair.”

  No, what was unfair was her sister throwing a bitch fit in front of her friends, mate, and the entire damn restaurant. She refused to rise to her sister's baiting. Emma pointed to the chair the younger bear had vacated. “Plant your ass, stop acting like a baby, and deal with it.”

  Cassidy cocked her hip, placed her hands on her hips and glared back at her, defiantly. Yeah, it was going to get ugly.

  Quickly.

  “Why do you have to be such a bitch?” Cassidy sneered.

  Bodhi jumped up, knocking his chair over in the process. “Enough,” he growled at Cassidy whose face went pale. “Do not disrespect your sister. Not in my presence. Not ever. Got me?”

  Emma wondered if Cassidy would be stupid enough to come back at the enraged wolf shifter, defending her older sister.

  “Got me, Cassidy? It’s a yes or no answer. Then, you do as Emma said, plant your ass and act like the young lady I know your sister has raised you to be.”

  “Yes,” her younger sister mumbled, making haste to return to her seat.

  “Might be a good idea to also apologize to your sister, who did nothing wrong but bring a spoiled brat along for a vacation,” Bodhi added.

  Emma was worried. Cassidy was unpredictable. Therapists had told her on more than one occasion, her sister felt abandoned by their parents. Cassidy felt her dad should have remained strong after the loss of his mate, their mother, and lived for his two daughters. Bodhi wasn't aware of this. None of them were because she h
ad never brought up her responsibilities or her sister. Emma realized she needed to stop this before it got out of hands. Emma reached for Bodhi's large, warm hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “She gets it.” Her words were whispered, but stern.

  Bodhi returned the gesture, before righting his chair and returning to his seat, all the while keeping his gaze on Cassidy and waiting for her impending apology.

  Cassidy blinked, glanced around the table, her cheeks turned bright red with tears welling in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Emma.”

  She suspected if her sister sat beside her, she would have captured Emma in a bear hug. Unable to verbally respond, she simply nodded in acknowledgment.

  The conversation started back up, slowly. Zoe popped off with something stupid, pulling in first Bell then Hayden. Finally, the whole table was abuzz with conversations while Cassidy sulked.

  “You okay, pinky?” Concern laced through Bodhi’s voice.

  “Yes,” she replied. She hated the wobble in her tone. She could feel her own tears building. She blinked rapidly, fending off the destructive buggers, not wanting any of her friends to see her grief and struggles.

  “This isn’t the first time she’s been combative with you, has it?”

  “No. She has issues,” she admitted.

  “We all have them, Emma. But, you don't bite the hand of the person who's always there for you.”

  “Sometimes you do, Bodhi. Particularly, when the pain you’re feeling is so overwhelming, you don’t know how to react.”

  “You want to talk about it?” he asked, reaching up, grasping a piece of wayward hair that escaped from her ponytail. She shivered when he tucked it behind her ear.

  “Yeah,” she croaked, telling him of their past and how she came to adopt her sister.

  Bodhi listened intently as Emma spoke about her past. He didn't want to tell his mate, but he kind of sided with Cassidy. Bodhi understood the fierce connection and love of mates, but their father should have manned up, grown a pair of balls, and lived for the two children who needed him. Sure, no one could have predicted the outcome afterwards, but there’d been no one for Emma or Cassidy. To him, it was a shit show.

  It also didn't go unnoticed their situation was very like his own. Jace had made great strides in fixing their relationship, but deep down, there were times Bodhi still resented his father for allowing his pain to override him doing the right thing. He knew Jace still dealt with his guilt, and that was his father's cross to bear. Hayden's relationship with their father was different. She didn't have to live in the same town, knowing who her father was and having him ignore her. Bodhi gave thanks every day to his uncles and Mrs. Martin who showed him how to love.

  Jace, however, was getting his second chance now, thanks to his two mates, Loraine and Blake. Both would keep his father on the correct path while making sure Jace never repeated his past mistakes. He wanted to tell Emma about his past, too, but their food arrived, and the conversation ended as they all dug into their meals.

  When the bill came, it didn't surprise him one damn bit when Jackson grabbed it before anyone else and paid the entire tab. The dragon had money, it wasn't a well-known fact, and you'd never know it by looking at him. The only reason he found out, had been because his twin let it slip.

  It blew his mind how neither of the Dryer sisters realized Hayden couldn’t keep a secret from him. If anyone asked his uncle Kal why, he’d tell them it was the deep twin bond. Guess his uncle forgot he didn’t even know he had a twin till he was fourteen.

  While the girls made their way to the back to use the facilities again, he headed out to Jackson’s truck, so he could be ready to go when they got back. Plus, he needed some time to calm down. He’d been rock hard the entire trip. Hell, truth be told, he’d been hard the last ten months. Jerking off every night was getting old, and he craved having his mate’s body pressed to his.

  Both the wolf and the man yearned for his mate on an elemental level. Riding out the full moon in Window Rock, with Emma close by would be akin to torture for him. It didn’t help one damn bit he had smelled the sweet scent of her arousal, a combination of honey and lavender, the entire drive. Now, he was setting himself up for several more hours of sweet torture.

  He needed his fucking head examined.

  Glancing up, he watched the door, waiting not so patiently, for his mate who’d be stepping outside any second. He held his breath as Bell, followed by Hayden, Zoe, and finally Emma, stepped out of the building into the bright sunlight.

  Emma closed her eyes, tipping her head back as though she was breathing in the warmth of the sun. Emma’s hair color resembled a shade of plain brown, until the sun hit it just right. Hues of red gold and chocolate wove through in the dark locks, currently pulled back in a loose ponytail. Curly tendrils had escaped, hanging down, brushing her collarbones. He wanted to pull her hair free of the cumbersome band and run his fingers through her hair. He wanted to feel the silky tendrils across his chest as she lay in his arms. To hold those lush locks in his fist as he ... Fuck! Bodhi groaned.

  Jesus, get it together. You’re going to scare her the fuck off with that divining rod in your pants. He couldn’t help it. Everything about her made him ache.

  Emma was a bear, and by nature, curvy. In her human form, though, her figure was spectacular. Large breasts, he knew would overflow his large hands, combined with wide hips, thick thighs, and an ass to rival any of the Kardashian sisters had him panting like a wolf in heat.

  Bodhi suspected either Emma was innocent or had very little experience with a man. Neither possibility bothered him since he was planning on showing his mate exactly how he liked his pleasure while he figured out what made his little bear tick.

  Emma waved bye to Zoe, who climbed on the back of Rocky’s, big, black beast of a motorcycle as Hayden moved over to where Nico patiently waited for his mate. Bell talked to Shelly, while Emma made sure her sister made it back to her assigned car before making her way to where he sat, patiently, or not so patiently, waiting for her.

  “Everything okay with your sister, pinky?” He glanced up at Emma as she slid in beside him.

  “She feels bad.”

  “I’m sure she does, but it doesn’t give her any right to speak to you in such a way,” he replied. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re her parent.”

  “Some of it’s my fault,” she huffed, reaching for her seatbelt to click it in place.

  “Bullshit. Even negative attention is attention. We both know she wanted you to feel uncomfortable, maybe even hurt you.” He rubbed at the ache in his chest, thinking about anyone hurting his Emma.

  “I don’t really want to rehash what happened at lunch. It was embarrassing for both of us,” she admitted.

  He could respect her request, but he was going to get his say in, too, whether she liked it or not. “It was embarrassing for her. Her actions now reflect on her, not you. She chose to act as she did. Not you. Her choice, pinky. Tell me how it’s your fault?” he prodded.

  “I’ve allowed it to happen,” she muttered as Bell pulled open the front passenger door.

  “Let's get the show on the road,” Bell hollered from the truck's cabin.

  “As you wish,” Christoph declared from the driver’s seat, having switched places with Jackson who now sat beside him. “We’re still listening to Emma’s music?”

  “We sure are,” Bell declared, turning the music up and putting the windows down. “Window Rock, here we come!”

  Bodhi realized his mate, Emma Monte, hadn’t had an easy life. Between the loss of both parents, and the responsibilities of caring for a teenager, alone, it had to weigh heavily on her small shoulders.

  “Bodhi,” Emma whispered as she pulled out her notebook and pen again.

  Was the damn thing attached to her fingertips?

  “Yeah, pinky?” he replied.

  “Thank you for your help with Cassidy.” Seems his little mate liked his interference. “I appreciate it. It’s been tough dealing with it all
by myself. It was nice to get some help, from a positive influence.”

  More like someone Cassidy couldn’t walk all over.

  Once everyone got settled, he was going to search out his aunt Keeley. Maybe she could offer some insight on Emma’s younger sister and the best way he should deal with her. He doubted after dressing down the teenager, she would be receptive to him going forward. He was most likely enemy number one. Oh well, he planned to be in Emma’s life for a very long time. Cassidy would just have to get used to it.

  He smiled when Emma leaned forward slightly, her book on her knees and pink pen between her fingers. She wasn’t doodling this time though, no this time she was writing what looked like a diary entry in big, bold, bubbly cursive. It didn’t go unnoticed his name showed up more than once as she continued to write for the next hour while humming to the music.

  Chapter Three

  The sign welcoming them to Window Rock loomed in the distance. The orange, blue, and gold insignia caught the sun just right for Emma to read it. Finally, they were almost at their destination. She hadn’t realized they were so close when they stopped for lunch. She figured they had at least another two or three hours before they arrived. Or, had she been so consumed by her doodling she didn’t notice the passage of time?

  She glanced up at the dash of the truck and frowned. Three hours. How? She cut her gaze over to where Bodhi sat beside her. He’d turned slightly and one of his sweatshirts had been bunched up behind his head. Napping? She thought he’d keep pestering her, instead, he gave her space. She supposed she appreciated it, especially after everything with Cassidy. She understood her sister could be a pain in the ass.

  She also realized she enabled her sister, too.

  Things were going to have to change.

  Christoph exited the freeway and took a small state route which, coincidentally, followed the highway. Emma peered behind her and found all of her friends were following them. She grinned and gave a small wave before facing forward. She wanted to learn the route. Not because she hoped Bodhi would choose her, but if she liked it there, she might want to visit. Sure, makes sense. Stalker.