Bearing It All Read online

  “I think,” Rapier said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “This is one of those lightbulb moments for you, Bodhi.”

  “Fuck, yeah,” Bodhi said, agreeing with the other man.

  “Full moon isn’t far away. Don’t let another month go by without your mate, son. It’ll eat at you, and most likely give her doubts. Which will linger between you and potentially hurt you both,” Jace added. The ring of truth in his words solidified what Bodhi had to do.

  Blake drew Jace into an embrace and whispered something he couldn’t quite hear in his ear. Jace grinned, cupped the back of Blake’s neck and kissed him, passionately.

  “Alright you two,” Loraine hollered from the porch. “None of that, now! We all agreed, if I’m not getting any, neither are you two.”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Loraine, it was just a kiss. No harm ever came from a kiss.” Jace growled as he stood up. He ate up the distance between him and Loraine before tugging her into his arms and kissing her.

  “Doctor told her last week, no more sex. She's been driving us both bat-shit crazy, trying to convince us a good romp under the full moon will bring on her labor,” Blake explained.

  Yup, now he wouldn’t be able to look Loraine in the eye.

  “You all done shooting the shit? Dinner is ready,” Jasmine called from the porch. “Kids are getting restless, daddy.” The huskiness of her voice had Rapier visually stiffening.

  “Kitten, you're in for it now,” Rapier growled, jumping up and over the fire, running to where Jasmine stood, hip cocked, and leaning against the railing. She smiled down at her mate who wrapped his hand around her waist and hauled her over his shoulder. Rapier slapped her ass as he bounded around the corner and called out to his brothers to keep an eye out for the cubs.

  Daddy? Fuck me. I don’t even want to know. Now, he wouldn’t be able to look Jasmine in the eye.

  Blake laughed at his obvious discomfort. “Thought by now, you’d be used this.”

  “Thought I was.”

  “Once you mate Emma, it won't bother you. It's only affecting you now because you can't have what your heart and body desire. Trust me.” Blake stood beside him, laying his hand on his shoulder. “You'll be doing and saying what they're all doing and saying soon. Just with Emma.”

  “I hope so,” Bodhi muttered.

  “I know so. We’re proud of you, son. Both you and Hayden have made excellent choices for your mates. Even if you both took the long, winding path to get to them. Like father, like son,” Blake joked.

  Just then, his sister came flying around the corner, jumping into Nico’s arms. It didn’t surprise him when her sister wrapped her legs around her mate’s waist as he carted her off to the side where the food was being set up.

  Bell skipped over to Jackson and Christoph, giving each a kiss before they each took a hand and walked away.

  “Bodhi,” Blake nudged him. “She’s waiting for you.” Blake strolled over to where his dad still stood, cuddling Loraine.

  When Bodhi glanced up, his dad was correct. Emma stood back away from the group of mates, making their way to the food, unsure of what she should do. Not wanting her to feel another second of apprehension, Bodhi hurried to her side and reached for her hand, pulling her towards the tables and the chaos, which was his family.

  Chapter Five

  Emma sat on the couch overlooking the creek in front of Kalkin and Keeley’s home. The last twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind of activity. Between meeting the combined families of Rafertys and Dryers, she needed a minute to gather herself. Probably a whole day. Week ... tops.

  She woke early, and, thinking she could sneak downstairs for a cup of tea, she, instead, found Kalkin standing at the stove, shirtless, making breakfast. The ensuing conversation hadn’t gone too badly. Yes, as Keeley reminded her, he could be a gigantic asshole, but he also had a kindness to him. Deep down. Like, way, way down.

  He handed her a plate, told her to sit at the table to eat, and then joined her. She only wanted tea. Food could hold off until later. She should seriously consider watching her caloric intake. Yet, when the scent of bacon hit her nose along with scrambled eggs, her mouth watered.

  “What is it with you women thinking you need to be stick figures?” Kalkin grumbled. “Your fine the way you are. You’re built like your bear. Make peace with it.”

  She didn’t know what to say. “Uh ...”

  “Still finding your balls, I see,” he replied, cocking a brow at her.

  This time, she laughed. “I’m sorry. This is a little overwhelming.”

  “Don’t expect it to get any easier. If you need female help, go to Keeley or Dani, they’ll help you.”

  Female help? Oh, gods. “Thank you.” She stood. “Do you mind if I make some tea?”

  He pointed to the cupboard over the dishwasher. “Keeley keeps her stash there.”

  “Thanks.” She set about making her first cup of the day, then sat back down at the table to finish her breakfast. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Depends,” Kalkin answered.

  “On?”

  “Whether or not you’re going to like hearing the answer.” He placed his massive, tattooed forearms on the table and leaned toward her. “You have questions about Bodhi. You want to know everything, right?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “You should ask him and Hayden. They both had a rough start. But, the stories are theirs to tell, understand?”

  Actually, she did. “Yeah, I do.”

  “I have to finish getting ready to go on duty. Eat as much as you want.” He stood, then made his way to the sink to drop off his dishes. “Welcome to the pack. I know it's not a clan like you're yearning for, but we're a good family. We'll take care of you and Cassidy.”

  Before she could express her gratitude, he disappeared back upstairs.

  “Hey, how long have you been out here?” The cushion beside her gave way as Bodhi sat next to her. He’d been the perfect gentlemen last night. He stayed with her until everyone started heading out for the night. Then, he made sure Cassidy and she had everything they needed.

  Emma had hoped he'd request she stay with him. The idea of falling asleep in his arms, or waking up in them had sent a wave of pleasure crashing through her. Instead, she said they were fine. She wrote in her journal while her sister finally found a position in the room where the internet worked.

  Cassidy sent off several selfies to her friends, then very seriously turned to her and said, “I like it here.” It surprised the hell out of Emma. She hadn't expected her sister to say anything of the sort. It left her a little gobsmacked. As she floundered with what to say, her sister turned off her phone, then rolled over and fell asleep.

  “I guess an hour or so. I’m an early riser,” Emma whispered, not sure why she did so.

  “I knew it. Do you smile when you wake?” He took her hand in his.

  She'd been tempted to say yes. She loved mornings. The stillness. The moments just before the rest of the world awakens. It was glorious in her opinion and reminded her just how small they were in the vastness of space. However, she said, “I guess you'll have to find out some time.” The boldness of her statement, not only surprised Bodhi, but herself as well.

  “I like a challenge, pinky,” he growled. His gaze darkened, swirling with desire and determination. It tickled her insides with arousal. “I’m going to kiss you, now.”

  “Here?” she squeaked.

  “No time like the present,” he answered, leaning in. “Come here, Emma.”

  Her cheeks flamed as the rough, husky quality of his voice made her giddy with anticipation. He did like her. However, she didn’t want to get ahead of herself. When his lips touched hers, she sank into him. His arms wrapped around her, holding her close. She tasted the hint of his toothpaste and a lick of wildness. The desperate way he consumed her, startled her. Had he always wanted her with such fire? Passion? How had she missed this? Or, did she do the one thing she promised her
self seconds ago, she wouldn’t do? Read too much into this with him.

  Bodhi sat back and a lazy smile crossed his lips. “Yep,” he said. If she thought he’d expand on the ‘yep,’ he didn’t. Rather, he changed the subject. “Hayden should be down soon. She has a day planned for you girls. Have fun, okay?”

  “O—” she touched her mouth, then swallowed hard, trying to gather her tattered wits. “Okay ... what are you going to do today?”

  “Rapier and the guys have a few houses they’re working on, so I told them we’d help out.” He winked. “If you can get Hayden to bring you by the site ...” He wiggled his brows. “Maybe you can cat-call us.”

  She laughed. “Hell, yeah.” The thought of seeing Bodhi shirtless, working in the warm, spring sunshine, all ripped and sweaty, swinging hammers and cutting wood. She let out a wistful sigh. Hell, yeah.

  Bodhi growled. “Whatever you’re thinking about, it must be good.” He adjusted himself on the couch. “Jesus, you’re so damn tempting.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead before standing. “I’ll see you later. Don’t forget. Cat-calls.”

  How could she? She gave a small wave as he headed back inside. In the distance, she could hear him talking to someone, then a few seconds later, her sister appeared. She hated mornings. Emma glanced down at her watch and noticed the time. Not even nine yet. Maybe she'd made the right decision after all.

  “Morning, did you sleep well?” Emma patted the couch next to her.

  “I did, really well, in fact.” Cassidy sat beside her. “Hayden said something about a shopping trip this morning, know anything about it?”

  She shrugged. “Bodhi said Hayden would be taking us around.”

  “Awesome,” Cassidy giggled then gazed out at the property. Small sage bushes and yucca plants framed the area. Farther out, a ridge to the right had been covered by trees, and she also glimpsed a few Joshua trees and cacti. “What a view, right?”

  Cassidy took the words right out of Emma’s mouth. “Yeah. What do you think of moving here after I graduate?”

  “Serious?” Her sister’s eyes widened. “I mean, you and Bodhi, huh?”

  “Well, let’s not go putting the cart before the horse. How about we talk about us, then if things change, we’ll add Bodhi to the equation?”

  “Yes,” Cassidy answered, without hesitation. “I think we could be happy here, don’t you?”

  She nodded. “I do. I think we’ll fit in with the Rafertys and the Dryers.”

  Cassidy laughed. “They’re super insane, right?”

  She couldn’t disagree.

  “Aiden and Nic are sweet too,” Cassidy murmured. “So are Colin and Willow and Ella. I really like them.”

  In less time than it took her to make friends at her high school, Cassidy had made several more in Window Rock. “I know I don’t say it much, but Mom and Dad would be proud of you.”

  Cassidy rolled her shoulders. “Yeah.”

  “It’s hard. I wish I had all the answers. I wish I could tell you why, for all of it. I can’t, though. But, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Her sister glanced down at her lap. “I sometimes wonder, if I hadn’t been born, would they still be alive. You’d have your parents.”

  Emma’s heart broke. “Don’t ever say that,” she muttered. “I wouldn’t have you. I wouldn’t be here. Things happen, Cass. We can’t prevent them sometimes. We can’t change them, we learn to endure.” She hugged her sister tight. “To never have you in my life would leave as big a hole in my heart as not having our parents.”

  Cassidy wiped away a tear. “I am pretty fabulous.”

  “You’re amazing and maybe a pain in my ass.”

  Her sister grinned. “Someone has to keep you in line.”

  The door opened, and Hayden popped her head out. “Ready to go?”

  Emma nodded. “We are.”

  Emma got out of the vehicle and stared at the weathered, greenish-blue, two-story building. Pauline’s written in beautiful, bold script greeted her. Bell had talked about the place all the way there. This would be the first of many stops, she gathered, which didn’t bother Emma one bit. After talking to Cassidy, she felt better about her decision. Moving to Window Rock in a few years, seemed to settle her a bit.

  “Annabelle, Mrs. Martin’s granddaughter runs the store, now.” Sadness tinged Hayden’s voice.

  “You miss her,” Emma said.

  “So much,” Hayden answered. “She was our savior. She took care of us kids whenever we needed a place to hang out. She made the best treats. Told the best stories, and had the biggest heart. She passed away two years after my aunt and I drove our busted car down this road, and stalled right there in front of the sheriff’s department.” She pointed to where their car stopped. “She came out with drinks and sandwiches while the mechanic tried to get it started.”

  Wow.

  “Is that when you met Bodhi?” Shelly asked.

  Hayden grinned, and her blue eyes twinkled with laughter. “No. I met Nico first. When we walked into the building, there he sat. Cuffed to a chair, a wicked smile on his face, comfortable as you please. I think I forgot how to breathe.” Her voice took on a wistful quality. “When I found out what he’d done, I vouched for him. No one knew me, yet I knew him. Gut deep. Three minutes later, I met my father.”

  “Holy shit, girl.” Raquel whistled. “Nothing like, welcome to your life.”

  “It was crazy,” Hayden said with a shrug. “From then on, Nico never got into trouble again.”

  “Kismet,” Joy said. “You were meant to meet.”

  “I guess so.” Hayden motioned for them to follow. “Come on. Let’s go see if we can get into some trouble.”

  They walked into the store, and a woman greeted them. She had long, brown hair wrapped several times in a bun, secured at the nape of her neck. Her bright, cheery, brown eyes, contradicted the stern set of her jaw. She also radiated tons of love. Had this been why Hayden and Bodhi sought shelter there? A woman like this one?

  “Annabelle!” Hayden came around the counter and hugged the woman. “I’ve missed you.”

  “We've missed you too, girl.” The woman smiled. “As usual you bring me, stragglers.”

  Hayden laughed. “These are my friends, from college.” She went down the list introducing all of them. “We thought we could look around. I’m playing tour guide today.”

  “The store is yours, girls.” She started for the yellow curtain separating the front from the back. “Oh, and Hayden?”

  “Yes?” Hayden answered.

  “Would you like to meet the newest Blackhorn?”

  Hayden squealed and started to bounce. “Would I? Do you even have to ask?”

  Annabelle disappeared behind the curtain, then returned a few minutes later carrying a small wolf pup ... no, coyote. He was cute as a button, sleeping in his momma’s arms. The chorus of ‘ohs,’ woke him momentarily before he stretched and went right back to sleep.

  “This is Daniel Blackhorn. He’s three months old.” Annabelle placed him in Hayden’s waiting arms.

  “He is beautiful. How are Samantha and Phoenix?”

  “Good,” Annabelle answered. “They’re at school, right now. Too bad your vacations didn’t match up. I am sure they would love to see you.”

  “We’re here for two weeks,” Emma stated. “We can make time.” She didn’t know why she spoke up, but this ... Hayden needed this as much as Emma did.

  “Jerome would love to see you, too,” Annabelle stated then looked at the girls. “He’s my husband.”

  “I can see why you weren’t at Kal’s house last night,” Hayden said handing the bundle over to his mother.

  “We enjoy the quiet when we can get it. So, is there anything, in particular, you're looking for?”

  Hayden shook her head. “Nah, we’re just ... perusing.”

  Out of the corner of Emma’s eye, the glint of something caught her attention. She turned her head and sucked in a breath. She didn�
�t know how old it was, but, she had to have it. A pink and silver dress had been draped over a plus-size dress form. She made a beeline for it while her sister checked out the oversized, gardening hats. The girl had a thing for them. Had like, twenty-five of them at home. She said it made her feel grown up. Emma never questioned it.

  She snatched her journal out of her bag, then opened it to the page she’d been working on. When she glanced up to check the tag on the dress, she noticed a whole rack of evening wear perfect for her plan. Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod. She had to keep her composure. She didn’t want to tell Hayden she planned on throwing her and Nico an impromptu wedding, nor had she told their friends. Which, at some point, she’d have to do.

  She wrote furiously making note of all the sizes, colors, and cuts. They would all look gorgeous on them. This pink one, though ... gods, she coveted it. She should just buy it now. She bit her bottom lip and glanced over her shoulder. Hayden stood with Bell and Terri, while Raquel and Zoe were looking at records.

  She hurried to Annabelle and tried to keep her voice down, so no one would hear her. “I need your help.”

  “Sure,” Annabelle whispered. “Why are we whispering?”

  “It’s a surprise.”

  The woman’s eyes widened then grew serious. “What do you need?”

  “The pink and silver dress. I want it and the rack of dresses behind it.”

  The woman stared at her for a second then nodded. “Yours.”

  “Can I come back alone, and pay for them.”

  “No,” Annabelle answered. “They’re yours.”

  Emma stared at her. Come again? “You don’t know what I want them for.”

  “Tell me.”

  In hushed tones, she explained to the woman what she wanted to do and opened her book to show her the details Emma had in place. The dresses would be a check off the box of things to do. “That’s it.”

  “Invite us, and anything here you need is yours.”

  “Done,” Emma said. Excitement welled within her. She was one step closer to her goal, and half of her worries were assuaged. She could come back later, after looking around, and gather up what supplies she could find in the second-hand store. It was, after all, a treasure trove of items.