Caden Read online

  Anger snapped to life within her. “Who asked you? You think rolling into town after everything Keeley and I have been through makes you some goddamned authority on our relationships? You think you understand a fifth of what Caden put me through? What Simon and Hazel did to us?” She let out a low, menacing laugh. “You don’t have a clue.”

  “Fill me in then.” He leaned back once more.

  “It’s not worth it,” she said through clenched teeth. “Look, Caden made his choices. He had several opportunities to come back to me and fix this. He decided to pickle his insides.”

  “Have you stopped to ask why he’s trying to change now?” Rapier hedged. “He seemed genuinely concerned when I interrupted.”

  Danielle snorted. “He only wants his brothers back.” Liar, liar.

  “Jesus, he did a number on you.” Rapier shook his head. “Mates... You gotta hold on with both hands, right? You gotta understand you’re going to be jerked to hell and back, but at the end of the day it’s worth it. No matter how many times you get knocked down, you have to get up together and brush the dirt off.”

  “It’s not worth it,” she said. “None of this... Torture, is worth it.”

  “The fuck it’s not. It so much more than you’ve ever experienced, Danielle. Don’t throw everything you can have away, because some limp-dicked bastard lied to Caden.” Rapier knew more than he should.

  “Whatever. I think I lost my appetite.” She placed the menu back in the holder before sliding out of the booth.

  “Sit your boney ass down,” Mackenzie snapped. “You’re a walking skeleton, girl. I’m going to kick Caden’s ass when I see him again for allowing you to neglect yourself.”

  Danielle grit her teeth. The anger she’d been holding back for months built within her. She couldn’t believe two men who didn’t understand a damn thing about her knew what was best for her. Well, fuck that. No one controlled what she did or when she did it. She also didn’t belong to anyone. She’d been her own person, relying on herself more often than not. How dare they assume anything.

  “I think I’ll be getting home now.” She stood again.

  “Mama, eat, pweas.” Aiden looked up at her with soulful brown eyes. His little lip trembled as he stared back at her.

  Shit. Damn them all for saying shit in front of her boys. Damn them for cornering her. She glanced down at Aiden, his little face still scrunched up by sadness, and her heart broke. Why the hell did everyone feel it was their job to guilt her? “Fine. I’ll eat, but no more talk about mates. I don’t have one anymore. He gave up on me a long time ago.”

  Rapier nodded. “No more talk about mates, promise.”

  * * * *

  Rapier stood in the shower, after making sure Dani got home safe after their meal. The stubborn set to her jaw while she refused to answer any more questions both filled him with pride and scared the shit out of him. He was worried about her. Every time he saw her, he swore she’d lost weight. It couldn’t be good for her, or for her pups. Something had to give. Either Caden had to man the fuck up or the Rafertys needed to step up to the plate. Although, the wolf shifter had surprised Rapier when Caden had attacked him. His eyes were clear, and Rapier suspected he was finally realizing what he was missing.

  At least I hope so.

  Rolling his neck to help ease the tight muscles from the day’s work, Rapier allowed the hot water to wash away the day’s dirt and grime. Too bad it didn’t have the same effect on the memories he tried desperately to repress for the past ten years.

  The full moon was approaching, and Rapier hated it. Felines weren’t dependent on phases of the moon to mate. Thank fuck. Instead it played havoc on his senses. The constant scent of the mating pheromone penetrated the air around the town. It got to the point where he thought he’d go stark raving mad. His balls ached to the point of pain, and he had to fight the urge to find Jasmine, his mate, and rut till neither of them could move. Combine it with constant tightness and itchiness of his skin, it amazed Rapier that he hadn’t ripped some poor schmuck’s head off yet. For ten years he lived with this shit and it was wearing on him. Day after day he went without his mate and cubs. Day after day he suffered wondering if Jasmine and her sister Jenna made it to their safe house. Day after day, he wondered who his children looked like and if they were boys or girls. Fuck, stop thinking about it.

  He punched the tile wall of the shower. No wonder he was always in a bad fucking mood. The throbbing erection between his thighs also wouldn’t go away, at least without any help. Rapier gave into the clawing need deep in his belly. His damn hand didn’t even compare to his Kitten. He squeezed his shaft to the point of pain, hating himself for being so fucking weak. Then he blamed his lion for putting him into this messed up predicament. Had he never met Danielle and saw what her mate did to her on a daily basis, he might have been able to suppress the need to protect her or activate his mated instincts.

  Rapier’s dick jerked just with the mere thought of his mate and his pussy, so sweet and tight. Nothing compared to Jasmine. Especially his own hand. Jerking off had gotten old about nine years ago. He didn’t even want to do it anymore, he just didn’t have a choice, thanks to the lion who lay beneath his skin. It demanded relief, otherwise he want to go find their mate and claim her again. However, the pissed off lion would have to wait till that bastard, Raymond Quincy, was six feet under.

  Mine the surly lion roared in Rapier’s head. Ignoring it would only piss the beast off more.

  “Knock it the fuck off.” Rapier growled at the pacing lion in his head, who, consequentially, ignored him.

  Not cool, asshole. You can’t ignore me, if I can’t ignore you.

  “Damn it,” he snarled, fully aware rationalizing with the animal within him did nothing since it acted purely on instinct. And it was lonely. As was the man.

  Rapier snatched the body wash off the shelf and squirted some into the palm of his right hand before throwing the container in utter disgust. He palmed his erection, grunting when he squeezed his dick just a tad harder than he should have. Without any fuss or fanfare, he began working his hand up and down his length, twisting his wrist every so often. Each long, sure stroke brought him closer to climax and ending his self-torture. He made sure to be careful of his Prince Albert and lorum piercings, only flicking or tugging them gently so not to spend himself too quick—another downside of being a lion, rubbing a quickie out increased his horniness. He’d gotten drunk a year after he lost Jasmine and apparently had the brilliant idea to pierce his dick. Not only had he woken up the next morning with a hangover, he also had a sore dick. Rashid and Saber, his brothers, thought it was fucking hysterical. He had kept them in memory of his mate. Knowing one day they would be re-united and when he sank into her balls deep, the heavy metal loop at the tip would rub against her sweet spot, making her cream all over his dick.

  “Christ,” he snarled when he felt himself soften. It wasn’t working, he was losing it even with the thoughts of rutting with his mate. It should have made him happy, but it only served to piss him off more.

  Determined to relieve the ache, he accessed the memories of his mate he’d kept on lockdown for so long. They rolled through his mind like a movie. The first time he saw her, fuck, she’d been so damn beautiful. Frolicking in the woods without a care in the world. Her mane of rich dark chocolate brown hair had been braided into a thick rope, bigger than his wrist. The end, twitched back and forth with each seductive sway of her hips.

  Rapier loved her hair. The scent and length of it drove him nuts. He especially loved it when Jasmine rode him. He always let her find her pleasure first before he found his, but when he took her like that, the long, wispy ends danced around his thighs, teasing him. It always made him want to come right then and there. He’d wrap her long locks around his hand, anchoring her to him when he fucked her from behind—his favorite position. He tugged her head back, enjoying the soft sounds she made in the back of her throat as he rode them to bliss.

  Neit
her one of them had any clue how their meeting would change their entire lives. Perhaps if Rapier had an idea of the outcome, he would have resisted the urges pulsing through his body that fateful day. He didn’t though. Even with the trouble knocking on his door, the short time he got to spend with Jasmine was worth it.

  He should have paid attention more. Raymond Quincy had already made his plans clear to Rapier. The Alpha of the neighboring pack had told Rapier he wanted the Dryer Pride lands, but he hadn’t thought anything of it. In all the time they lived there in the four-corners region of Colorado, never once did they have any issues with surrounding packs. All Alphas were fuckwits, including him, obviously, so saying “I want your land,” hadn’t fazed him. Rapier should have known better.

  The lion roared in his head, and Rapier knew it was a command for him to focus on the task at hand.

  Jasmine…

  Rapier could still recall the distinct taste and scent of his mate. Spicy cinnamon. His tongue itched to taste her, to sink into the well of her pussy and eat her till she passed out from the pleasure. He quickly become addicted to his kitten’s unique flavor and often spent hours between her legs enjoying the spicy cream from her little pussy. The need for her taste on his tongue hadn’t dissipated after all those years of being separated. Truth be told, he swore it got worse.

  His stupid ass lion never forgot anything, particularly when it came to their mate, and Rapier suspected the animal always knew, thanks to some sick animal senses, when their mate needed him. In order to appease both of them, Rapier found tiny red candies, similar, in taste, to his mate. Shit. He’d eat those damn things till his tongue blistered.

  Rapier groaned, stroking his dick faster as he recalled Jasmine, sprawled out on his bed, begging him to fuck her harder, take her deeper. Her begging always got his dick so hard he swore he could pound nails with it. Rapier constantly worried about the petite panther and his potential to hurt her. She didn’t give a shit. Telling him on more than one occasion she had faith in him. She knew it soul-deep, he’d always protect her and never hurt her. Sending her away hurt her, just like it did him. She’d feel the effects of the mating just as much as he did after his cubs had been born.

  Fuck.

  Don’t think of that. Not now, asshole.

  Getting lost in his own guilt about the decisions he had to make to protect his family wouldn’t empty his balls or ease the massive ache building within them. Rapier shortened his strokes, rubbing the tip of his erection with the pad of his thumb. There would be no relief with this. No happiness. No contentment when he grunted through each pulse of his release. It would always be hollow, unkind and filled with sadness.

  Wasted.

  His lion roared in sorrow.

  “Yeah, big guy, I get it,” Rapier addressed his lion. “Cum is not supposed to be wasted down a drain, it’s supposed to go into our mate. This shit ain’t normal at all.”

  Rapier reached down with his free hand knowing the bad memories would soon destroy his resolve and cupping his heavy sac. He rolled the spheres while he continued to stroke himself to orgasm.

  Seconds later, his balls tightened up.

  “Jasmine,” he cried. The bitter sorrow stabbing his soul matched that of his lion’s as his orgasm raced up the long length of his dick. Each pulse of his release was a reminder of what he was missing and who he may never hold again. The relief was marginal, only good enough so he could pass the hell out and maybe get a couple hours of much needed sleep tonight.

  Turning off the water, Rapier snatched a towel off the holder on the wall and quickly dried himself off. The rest of his Pride, maybe sensing he had needed some privacy, had gone out to a local bar to get drunk and get laid. Wy had informed him of their plans before he closed the front door behind him on the way out.

  Or at least try to get laid.

  Rapier snorted, not in the least bit worried about Wy. His cocky, youngest brother had yet to get his game on when it came to the opposite sex. Rashid, Saber, Cormyr, Rashid, and Osirus, on the other hand, at least had a chance. They picked up pussy at an alarming rate. It worried Rapier. He didn’t want his siblings dealing with the same loss of a mate and being forced to hide the other part of their soul in order to protect them. He suspected Wy was still a virgin and chances were, the youngest Dryer would end up doing what he had just done. Except Wy would be forced to do it under the covers in his bed, praying everyone was asleep and no one heard him.

  Rapier chuckled, pulling on his sleep shorts before combing his hair and exiting the bathroom and heading down the hall to the kitchen. A cold beer, after a long hot day working in the sun and dealing with stupid contractors who didn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground and a fight with a surly wolf sounded like the perfect nightcap before heading up to his lonely bed. He stopped in the hallway and saw Kalkin Raferty leaning up against the island, eating one of their apples. Make yourself at home, why dontcha. How long had the other man been in the house? Had Kal heard him call out to his mate? Or had the running water drowned out his tortured moan as he came?

  Shit. He hoped the other man hadn’t heard a damn thing.

  “How the fuck did you get in here?” Rapier growled, not feeling the need to be hospitable to his new Alpha one damn bit.

  The lion chuckled in his head.

  Fucker.

  The asshole lion had sensed the big, bad ass wolf shifter in the house and hadn’t even bothered to alert him.

  “Normal way, through the front door,” Kalkin stated, before taking another bite of his apple. “It was unlocked. You don’t want company, there is this invention called a lock. Works wonders. You should use it.”

  Rapier seriously doubted even a locked door would prevent Kalkin Raferty from going wherever the hell he wanted to go. Kalkin’s visit, however, wasn’t a social one. Rapier knew it by the stance of the other man. On the outside or to any human, Kalkin might even appear calm, cool and relaxed, but he was anything but. His shoulders were stiff, his face was tight with irritation and, even if Rapier couldn’t sense Kalkin, his eerie blue eyes would have given away how he felt.

  Pussy footing around with the other man had the potential to fuck with their new home. He couldn’t blow their chance at starting over, so Rapier wasted no time getting to the heart of the matter. “This isn’t a social visit?”

  “Sure isn’t,” Kal replied.

  “In that case, I could use a beer. Want one?”

  “Might be a good idea.” Kalkin wrapped the apple core in the paper towel he had been holding and placed it on the counter by the sink.

  Rapier went straight for the fridge and pulled open the door. He removed two bottles of beer before placing them on the countertop. When Kal made no move to pick his up, Rapier slid it closer to him.

  “Much obliged.” Kalkin twisted the cap off and took a swig from his bottle.

  Rapier, on the other hand, twisted the top off, threw it in the sink and proceeded to down half the bottle before placing it on the countertop. “This about Caden?” Rapier kept eye contact with the unpredictable wolf shifter in front of him.

  Kalkin rubbed at the salt and pepper beard, watching Rapier intently. “Yeah it is. You need to ease off him. You’re not helping the situation.”

  “Which situation?” Rapier’s lip curled. “The situation where your brother is a massive idiot dickhead for doing absolutely nothing to help his mate for the last year? Or the situation with Dani and no one seeing or realizing how much she is struggling?”

  “Yeah,” Kal snapped. “That one. Caden’s working on it.”

  Rapier snorted. “He needs to work a little harder on it. By the time he gets his shit together, Nic will be in college.”

  “Why do you care?” Kal inquired.

  Rapier wasn’t going there. Not now, not with the other man. “I care, because someone has to. Have any of you fucking Rafertys noticed how your mate’s sister is wasting away?”

  “Watch your step.” Kalkin growled, deep and low in warning
.

  Rapier didn’t give a fuck and he sure as shit didn’t back down. Far as he was concerned, this was Alpha to Alpha. “I give her maybe another year before she’s gone, leaving behind two young pups who need their mom and your stupid ass brother.”

  “You’re being dramatic. Jace would have informed me if this was the case.”

  “She’s hiding it,” Rapier admitted.

  “I would have noticed. My mate would have—”

  “She’s hiding it, Kal. And she’s very good at it. I saw it today, clear as day. Her clothes are hanging on her. She’s weak. It’s been days since she ate. I’d bet it’s been months since she had three solid meals in a row,” Rapier spat, disgusted that this had been allowed to go on for so long. “He also partially mated her.”

  “Bullshit. It’s not possible,” Kal said.

  Rapier rolled his eyes. “Tell it to someone who doesn’t know the truth.”

  The impossible was always possible, even with shifters who believed in the folklore they were spoon-fed from the moment they were born. Kalkin would require proof, so he gave it to him. In vivid detail.

  “I’ve been keeping tabs on her. She secludes herself during the full moon. Making sure to hit Mrs. Martin up for enough milk for Nic. She’ll go food shopping and then closes herself off. I suspect you or your mate don’t notice because you’re otherwise occupied. Danielle won’t even see clients till the waning gibbous starts. She gets weaker each time. Tell me you don’t fucking see it, Kal.”

  Kal bowed his head and it was long moments before he finally spoke. “Shit. I’ve missed it,” Kal confessed, raising his head. The pissed off look had left the other man’s gaze. In its place was regret and sorrow.

  Rapier knew it couldn’t have been easy for the other man to admit he had failed a pack member. Alphas lived to protect and support those weaker than them. Rapier knew it was eating the other man up.

  “Not really your responsibility,” Rapier reminded him.

  “Danielle is my mate’s sister. I welcomed both of my nephews and her into our pack. Of course, it is my responsibility.” Rapier heard the underlying sadness in Kalkin’s voice.